Just joking around

How do you keep a violin from being stolen? Put it in a viola case.

What’s the difference between a viola and a violin? The viola burns longer

Why does the viola burn longer? It’s usually still in the case

How do you get a violist to play spiccato? Write a whole note with “solo” above it.

What’s the difference between a viola and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a viola.

How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune? The bow is moving.

Why is a viola solo like a premature ejaculation? Because even when you know it’s coming, there’s nothing you can do about it.

If you’re lost in the desert, what do you aim for? A good viola player, a bad viola player or an oasis? The bad viola player. The other two are only figments of your imagination.

And so on. The tradition of making fun of violists goes back centuries  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viola_jokes. I kind of get it. Viola is the Eeyore of the orchestra. And who doesn’t enjoy laughing at someone else’s misery?


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